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Self Worth

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The Year 2021

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At first I was going to say that I didn’t feel accomplished this year. The reason for that is because I look at what other people have accomplished and compare myself to them, and in my eyes I just don’t measure up. Then I think why would I compare myself to others? We don’t have the same set of circumstances, and even if we did, well, we’re still not the same people. I’ve probably spent most of this year being exhausted and overwhelmed, but this year I birthed a baby. I have navigated starting all over again with a new […]

Obsessions

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Do you have any obsessions whether healthy or unhealthy? If so, you’re not alone. I recently had baby number two, and what’s one of the first things I did after arriving home from the hospital? I got on my scale. Why? Because I’m clearly obsessed with my weight. If you’ve been following me or if you know me, then you know I’ve struggled with being severely overweight nearly my entire life and had lapband two years ago. I recognize that the scale is only one way that people measure progress, but for some of us, we’ve let that number define […]

Letter to a Battered Woman

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Dear Woman, You deserve so much more than that man who talks down to you. He’s traded physical abuse for mental and emotional abuse. He still threatens you. He acts like the victim and makes you believe everything is your fault that he can’t control his emotions. You provoked him he says. Why are you always trying to start a fight? Why can’t you just keep your mouth closed? You are stupid he says. He has tried his best to isolate you from your friends and family. Anytime they came around he tried his best to make them uncomfortable by […]

My People

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For the past week or so but specifically these past few days, I’ve been in an odd mood. I feel duped, but I feel so special. My closest people around me have gone through extraordinary lengths to ensure that I have a special day prior to giving birth. There’s clearly some sort of celebration being planned all around me. I’ve felt tickled, loved and everything else like, “Do they really believe I am that oblivious?” Because I don’t ask a lot of questions, I can be easily fooled, but it gives me a lot of time to think and be […]

Worthiness

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As I get closer and closer to the delivery of baby number two, I grow more anxious about the changes that will come. As we’re in the midst of a global pandemic that many people pretend aren’t real, I can’t help but notice how this pregnancy has been so much different than my first. One thing that has transpired is my interaction with people such as my coworkers. My first pregnancy years ago I was physically at work. I can remember the numerous lunch break trips to Walmart with two of my favorite people who were clearly buying things to […]

Seeking Permission

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Do you often find yourself as an adult seemingly seeking permission? Well, I’m very guilty of that. It’s something I’m working on changing. Sometimes when we tell people that we’re doing something (what our plans are, etc.) and they start asking questions or offering suggestions, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. I’m not asking for permission. I’m sharing my plans, and it doesn’t matter if they’re not completely thought out because I’m still going through the process. I’m not seeking permission to do something. I’m literally sharing. Perhaps it’s my own fault for sharing because I could just keep […]

You’re so Ugly

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Have you ever had those moments where you’ve just felt so unattractive?  Well, you are not alone.  There are so many of us out there that have the same feelings.  It’s fine every so often as long as we don’t stay in that negative space for too long.  For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with body image issues.  Back in September I thought that I would like to do some semblance of a boudoir photo shoot so that I could look and feel good.  My husband is a photographer, but I know that he is not […]