A while back one of my coworkers approached my sister and me about healthy eating and living. It all boiled down to the fact that he was selling a well known weightloss/nutritional shake. He talked to us about it and mentioned a 90 day challenge. He did the whole pitch about how inexpensive it was especially compared to eating out everyday. First of all, he was obviously under the misguided impression that we both were eating out everyday. We both cook and normally bring in something for lunch. When we want to eat out, then we do. He also mentioned the obesity epidemic and wanting to help fight it. I didn’t mind purchasing the shakes because I figured it would be fine for me to replace at least breakfast with one of them. I am a person who loves to cook and loves to eat a nice meal, not a shake, and so is my sister, but we both decided that we would try these meal replacement shakes anyway and at least do the 90 day challenge. I think during the first couple of weeks he gave me some free supplements, which I did not want because I hate taking pills. I already have a few prescriptions, and that’s pretty much the only pills that I will take. He was checking up on me to see how things were going and said that if there was anything he could do to help to let him know.
In the meantime, he had added us on facebook and added us to his challenge group. One of his other “business partners” also contacted me and asked me how things were going. I thought these people were genuinely interested in helping people, but then it was revealed to me that all they were/are in this for is to make money. They put other people down who are not interested in selling the products. They should realize that not everyone wants to be a salesperson.
Now I have a problem with people who have never had a weight problem or any type of health problems trying to tell me how easy it is to lose weight. First of all, a lot of people are unable to identify with the actual struggles that go along with it, so they really cannot empathize. Secondly, some people have this preconceived notion that if you aren’t losing weight it’s because you’re just lazy. They don’t think that food addiction is real. They don’t know about the limitations that excess weight puts on people’s bodies or that they may not be able to push their bodies any further because they have already abused them too much. To me if the only thing you have to do in the gym to meet your goal is to tone and not lose weight, then you really cannot identify with someone who needs to lose 100+ pounds. They would have to work significantly different from you just trying to tone.
This guy put a status up on Facebook yesterday saying that if someone is in the gym and they look more out of shape than he does, then that person doesn’t need to say anything to him about fitness because he can’t hear it. This really irritated me because looks can be deceiving. Just because someone looks out of shape, that does not mean that that person is out of shape. It made me think about Drew Manning from http://fit2fat2fit.com/. He is a personal trainer who wanted to be able to empathize with the people he would be working with, so he put his health in jeopardy by going from fit to fat to fit again. He now knows some of the struggles and realizes that things are not as easy as he once thought they were. I just imagined what if he would have been in the gym next to this guy we bought the products from and offered him some advice. This guy might have been too close minded to receive it because he would have been looking at the outward appearance instead of listening to his words and figuring out if there was any truth to it. There are a lot of us unfit people in the world who have a lot of knowledge to offer the world about weightloss. Just because we have seemingly not been able to get it together, that doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t believe what we have to say. It’s just a little irritating.
The next time you see someone who is seemingly unfit, please don’t be so quick to judge them because for all you know, this person could be on a fitness journey where they have already lost a significant amount of weight.
Until next time,
It’s been a long time since my last blog, a little over 4 months to be exact. Things have really changed in my life. One of them is pretty major. I began to see a new doctor months ago. This doctor looked at me as a human being, a woman who wanted to have a child, and he told me that he would give me what I wanted. He never once mentioned my weight or the fact that I have PCOS. It was so refreshing. My previous doctors acted as though I didn’t know that I was morbidly obese and need to lose weight. That can’t be the only reason that I have been having problems conceiving. I see women who are significantly heavier than I am who have children with no issues. When you don’t look like people, sometimes they seem to dismiss you as insignificant.
My new doctor had a plan of action for what he wanted us to do. He did a somewhat painful test to check for blockage in my fallopian tubes. There was no blockage, but he said that even if there was some mild blockage, the test would have gotten rid of it, and that would significantly increase my chances of conception. He put me on birth control for 2 or 3 months. After that, I started clomid. I believe it was just 50mg. I took a pregnancy test in the wee hours of the morning of September 22nd. There were two lines meaning it was positive!!! I began to cry because I had taken so many pregnancy tests before that were negative. No matter what, there would only be that one line staring back at me. This was such a big shock. I will say that my new doctor gave me hope on the first day that I met with him. It wasn’t a question of if I got pregnant, but when. I wanted to tell the whole world as soon as I found out, but I only told my immediate family and a few close friends. A few weeks ago, I finally told people on Facebook and at my job. Now I am finally getting around to talking about it on here. As of today I am 15 weeks. I will be 16 weeks on Tuesday. I have my next appointment on Friday. I hope that I get an ultrasound done on that day. My first appointment, all they gave me was one ultrasound picture. On my second appointment there was no ultrasound, but I got to hear my baby’s heartbeat with the doppler. I think I will get the 2D ultrasound done at 18 weeks just so that I will have something.
If you have PCOS and think that you cannot conceive, maybe it’s the treatment that you are receiving. I have been through a few doctors and my current doctor was sent to me by God. Don’t give up hope.
Until next time,
Well, I’ll start off by saying that I have a new OB/GYN who happens to be a male. It’s a shame that he seems to care more about me and my desire to conceive than my female doctors. I hadn’t been sharing with anyone that I dreaded going to my doctors because they seemed to only look at me as a morbidly obese woman. I already know my weight and the fact that I am morbidly obese. They act as though I am the largest woman ever to attempt to have a baby. Well there are women out there who happen to be a lot larger than I am who have had no issues with having a baby. My new doctor did not even mention my size. He just started talking to me about everything he could do to help me on my quest to conceive. I really appreciated his interaction with me, and it caused me to feel a little weepy. I feel like he is the first doctor to give me any hope. He asked me if anyone had ever checked my tubes for blockage. No one has ever checked them. He needs me to come into the hospital for a procedure where they will check for blockage. He said that if there is blockage, everything such as the clomid has been a waste of time. I look forward to the next step.
I will end this on a sad note. One of my college acquaintances who also has PCOS had recently announced her pregnancy on Facebook. I was so excited for her and her husband especially knowing and understanding the struggle. I found out today that her pregnancy is no more. My heart really aches for them. I pray that they are able to get through this very difficult time and that they are blessed in the near future with a baby. My prayers are with them.
Until next time,
Edit from August 2019-My testimonial has of course been submitted since this post. Below are a few pictures of some of the meals prepared there.
I have been seeing this new doctor, who is an internist. I have heard good things about him. I got some blood work done. Everything came back really good. The only thing that wasn’t good is the insulin. I already knew that since I’ve been working to get it within the normal range for a while. I was happy to know that I do not have diabetes. I think that is one of my biggest fears since I am at an increased risk for developing it with my PCOS. My cholesterol was good as well.
I finally got finished with this 30/40/50 challenge that someone invited me to on facebook. It required one to do 30 pushups, 40 squats, and 50 situps everyday for 30 days. There were many days that I was just going to quit, but I surprised myself by pushing through it. I plan on continuing with them. The situps were probably the most extreme, and some days I had to do modifications for some of the exercises, but nevertheless, I did make it.
I am hoping to be posting some amazing news on here soon, but if not, I already know what my next plan of action is. I have a full week left before I know anything.
I HATE WAITING!!!
I have started the New Year off right with working out. I worked out for a little over 70 minutes. I got in 45 minutes of moderate activity and 27 minutes of vigorous activity. I chose several workouts to do b/c I get bored fairly easily. I did some Wii workouts: Walk it Out, Hip Hop Dance Experience, and Just Dance 3. Then I got in some walking on the treadmill. I must admit that I feel accomplished.
I have gained back some of the weight I lost before going on the cruise, 7-8 pounds. I expected that because I ate quite a few times on the cruise. When I got back into town for the holidays, I continued to eat A LOT. I am not disappointed, because it’s not like I was doing anything not to lose weight. I still have not given up, and I am looking forward to my workouts. I hope that this attitude continues.
Just know that while I have not had much recent weight loss success, it has not deterred me. Like I’ve said previously, “I cannot afford to quit.” If you are on this journey as well, remember that you can do it. It will take some time and dedication. How can I be discouraged when I know that I have not put my all into my weight loss journey? Maybe there is some fear that is coming along with it like, “What will I look like?” “Are people going to start asking me all kinds of questions about my journey?” Previously I was invisible until I began losing weight. Then people started acting as though I was someone important. I didn’t like it. I was still the same person on the inside. I hated the attention, and I didn’t like new people talking to me because of something so superficial. I want to be around real people. This is still so early so I don’t know how things will pan out this time around, but I am here trying.
Sorry for rambling all around,
I know that I have to do what I have to do regardless. I just want to reach a point where I truly care enough for myself to get it right. One thing I do know is that I will not stop trying. If I stop, I will have failed, and this is something at which I cannot afford to fail.
So since about the age of 15 I have been having issues with my cycle. I kind of had to do a self diagnosis b/c at the time, doctors weren’t telling me what the problem was. They just gave a quick fix, birth control. It wasn’t until 2006 when a doctor finally told me what I had. It was as I suspected, PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). This year was the first year that I really put forth any effort to lose weight. From January-March of 2009, I lost a total of about 30 pounds. I was working out like crazy to do it. Then afterward, I continued working with a personal trainer for months, and I couldn’t lose a pound. Finally I began gaining the weight back. It has been somewhat discouraging, but I will be going to the doctor this week to hopefully hear about what can be done to get better results. I am hopeful because I would really like to have children. I don’t want this to be a hindrance. I also came to the realization that my personal trainer will not listen to anything that I have to say. He doesn’t understand that there are other ways to measure progress such as measurements. Well, actually he knows, but he just hasn’t taken out the time to do it. He is more focused on those numbers on the scale. That might be fine if I didn’t have the issues that I have. I realized that I can’t continue to go to him and be made to feel like a failure b/c it is seriously annoying me and discouraging me. It’s causing me unnecessary stress that I don’t need in my life at this point.
That is all for now.