Cookies…Yum, and Happy Mother’s Day

I really have been in the mood for some homemade cookies. I have not made any from scratch in years. For me, I’m always looking for the perfect recipe for anything I make because I want it to taste better than before. Well, I came across a recipe for some cookies called, DoubleTree Cookies from a blog called, The Little Kitchen.Net The picture of the cookies just looked like they were going to be delicious. I decided that I would make them, and I did. I started at night, almost 8 pm to be exact. So, in the recipe, it tells you to refrigerate or freeze your cookie dough two to four hours or overnight. I figured overnight would be best since I had already gotten a late start. I definitely took the recommendation to go ahead and portion out the dough prior to refrigeration rather than trying to portion out hard dough. Literally all I had to do was pick up the individual portions, place them on the pan, and bake. That was simple enough.

If you’re looking for a good cookie recipe, I do recommend this one. Let me know if you try it and like it. My household did.

Until next time,

It’s Me

Still moving along…

Hey guys. I just wanted to do a quick post to let y’all know that I’m still here moving along. I’ll be honest of course and say that I am still struggling. The biggest struggle is probably the mental part of it. I have been consistently working out since my orthopedic doctor cleared me. When life happens my first instinct is definitely to fall into those old habits of using food as comfort. I also see that as a form of self sabotage. I’m going through some difficult times at work, and I want something familiar. I’m working on making better choices; choices that will better serve me, my body, my wellbeing, my goals. Since I am a work in progress, I don’t expect it to be easy.

I am so proud of myself for consistently showing up for my workouts. That is such a great accomplishment because I very easily quit different tasks. It gets easy to forget why you started something in the first place. Don’t be afraid to take a moment to assess where you are with meeting your goals and reassess your situation. You have to remember your why or find a new why. Do whatever it takes to get going again.

Let’s stay strong together, and remember, “We got this!”

Until next time,

It’s Me

Moving into the New Year

As the year 2019 comes to an end, I realize that I am stronger than I thought. Things this year that were meant to break me have actually helped to strengthen me. I have been on a journey of self exploration, just trying to find myself, my purpose, etc. I can’t say that I’ve found the answers, but I have been finding myself along the way. I have had some revelations. I still have not won the lottery. I am still going through some turmoil, but I have not been defeated. I am still here striving for better. As I go into the new year, I will do my best to not let those things that don’t serve me control me so much. I will not be chasing friends. If you’ve proven yourself to not be my true friend, I expect you to keep that same energy in 2020 and leave me alone. I will care more about myself and my well being. I am worth it. I’ve got some important moves coming up, some things that I find scary to do, but I must have the courage to do them. I encourage anyone reading this to stand up for the right thing, put yourself first, step out on faith and do that thing that you’ve been wanting to do. Don’t chase people. Chase after bettering yourself. Spend time with people who are there for you. I am worth it, and so are you!!! Stay encouraged.

Until next time,

It’s Me

Our Annual Photo Shoot

So, a little over a year ago I made a post with a picture of my oldest sister and me. The caption said it was a sneak peak and a post would be coming soon. Well, that post never happened until today. It was regarding our annual photo shoot that we are clearly dropping the ball on this year. That’s disappointing, but life has happened quickly this year, and there was no planning. Anywho…

Once again, it was time for our annual photo shoot. This was our third year. It was decided that instead of doing a boudoir shoot that we would just do a glam/beauty shoot. We didn’t do all of the preparation that we did the first two years. I think we both didn’t have very high hopes and weren’t necessarily looking forward to this shoot. We had goals that we didn’t meet, which was a little disappointing. We did remember that the ultimate goal was a feel good photo shoot.

We had a different makeup artist this time, Kawambee D. She actually came to the photography studio to apply our makeup. We had fun, and since it was a beauty shoot, we ended up with some bling on our faces. Our photographer had some new hair for us, and it was gorgeous. The music and the vibe were just right as usual, and magic was made. Let’s get into this by looking at a few pics from our shoot. Enjoy!

Walking into my destiny
I’m an Amazon
Wonder if that dream is to big…No girl, go for it.
Sisterly Love

Makeup by:

Photos by:

Until next time,

It’s Me

The Journey Continues

If you read my previous post, then you know I had lapband surgery. I was down 50 pounds and forging forward with working out and eating better. Then I was hit with a knee injury. I tore my ACL and medial meniscus in my left knee. I have pretty much been at home since September 17th. I had knee surgery October 21st. I have not been able to do cardio. I’ve only been able to do upper body workouts for the most part. I have gone through all types of emotions since I was injured.

One of the common judgments that people make regarding people who have had weight loss surgery is that we have taken the easy way out. Well, I can definitely vouch for the fact that it is not easy. At this point all I can ask is, “Easy where?” I still love to eat, I am still an emotional eater, so like I stated before, this injury has taken me through all of the emotions. In the beginning I was doing well food wise, but mentally I was challenged because I could no longer do my workouts. Although I was being physically challenged because of my significant decrease in mobility, my biggest challenge was the mental aspects.

I felt quite discouraged from the beginning, but I also started feeling very much alone and lonely. This caused me to go to my place of comfort, food. Of course that is not the way to cope, but clearly it became my way again. Then I had the feelings of disappointment in myself that I would sabotage myself in that manner. If I could change one things about the injury, I would change the way I dealt with my emotions. It was hard to watch my muscle definition and stamina revert because of my limited mobility, and while I made some good choices food wise, I definitely made some poor ones.

I was beating myself up over this lack of progress, but through this ordeal, I would like to believe that I have experienced some growth. I never want to wallow in self pity about what could have been. My knee got messed up, and I messed up in the process of recovery. I am still here with more opportunities to do better. If you can learn anything from me, please let one of them be that “HAVING WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY IS NOT TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT!!!” The big picture for me is that I have not gained back the weight that I lost after being derailed/recovering for the past two and a half months. That is definitely a huge victory. I have a good way to go mentally and physically, but I am here to see where this journey will lead me.

Until next time,

It’s Me

The Journey to Accepting Me

I battled with whether or not I would even share my story because of how judgmental people can be, but no matter what, people will judge me for something.  If my story helps even one person, then it is worth it to be transparent.  Here goes:

After struggling for so many years and watching my health decline and quality of life suffer, I began heavily considering bariatric surgery. I had several signs along the way that lead me to believe that this was the way I needed to go. My struggles with my weight date back to childhood. It’s something I’ve always dealt with, but it really got out of hand once I moved away from home and started working.

Back in 2010 I had a doctor who kept recommending it to me. She basically told me that with my PCOS my body craves carbs, and I would have a difficult time trying to lose weight on my own. I was not ready to go that route and decided I would still try and do it on my own. The years after that were filled with multiple weight loss attempts through dieting, exercising, etc in varying stages and much with little to no success. The most success I had was prior to conceiving my son where I had lost about 40 pounds, and I had to struggle to lose each of those pounds.

Around June 2018 I joined a program that had workouts and meal plans incorporated. By September my back began aching and I had a pain down my leg like I had pulled a muscle. I went to an orthopedic doctor to get checked out. The doctor I saw was around my age. They did an x-ray and didn’t find anything. Of course I didn’t want anything to be wrong with me, but it’s hard to have no answers. The doctor left out of the room, then he came back and told me he felt like he’d be doing me a disservice if he didn’t come back and talk to me. He told me that about half of my body weight was fat, and that I might want to consider having weight loss surgery. He said that at my weight I should not be doing high impact exercises because that is too much impact/pressure on my joints. He said I should be doing lower impact exercises like swimming. I tell y’all, I literally cried in the car because he wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know. I thought about all of my successes and failures and just cried. This doctor really gave me permission to stop doing those high impact exercises that were doing more physical harm than good. They were taxing on my joints. This was my first sign.

An OB/GYN that I had gone to undergrad with was doing these Maternity Talks on Facebook live where she would speak about obesity in pregnancy and other maternity related topics. During one of her talks she told us not to be afraid to seek help through weight loss surgery so that we can lose weight and have a healthier pregnancy. She spoke of the difficulties that women experience while trying to lose weight and some of the complications that can happen when the mother is overweight and pregnant. This was my second sign.

Then one right after another there were about three people that I followed on social media who got weight loss surgery. Two got gastric bypass and one got the duodenal switch. I felt like I was getting one sign after another. I had decided on the lapband for myself. Some of these last instances happened after I had already begun the consultation for bariatric surgery.

I had my first consultation on February 4th of this year, my second on March 11th, and my 3rd on April 8th. With my insurance, the requirements were to have three nutritional sessions over a 90 day period and to get a psychiatric evaluation. My third appointment was less than 90 days from the first one so I had to have an additional one. At that appointment I finally had questions, a page full to be exact. My doctor answered every question. One of the many things I really liked about him is that he did not try to push me one way or another towards any particular surgery. Looking online in these support groups, there’s so much good and bad mentioned about each of the surgeries. One thing we have to remember is that someone else’s experience may not be our own whether it is good or bad. We have to weigh the pros and cons to decide what is best for ourselves and our lives in general. I felt good about my decision to get the lapband, and I just had to wait on a surgery date.

May 14-17th I was in class for work, and I got a call from my doctor’s office telling me that the approval had come through, and they were calling to schedule the pre-op and surgery. I wanted to schedule it for my next day off which would have been that following Friday, but I was a little nervous and also wanted to give myself a chance at really trying the pre-op diet which was the Sugar Busters diet. I told them that I’d come in on June 6th for pre-op. It was an all day ordeal, but everything was good to go, and I went in the morning of June 7th for my surgery.  My crew was with me. Y’all, I was so nervous, but I was ready. I still had those thoughts in my head like, “Maybe I can try one more time, etc.” I remembered this one guy along the way who told me that I did not want to miss my window of opportunity, and I just knew that I needed to go through with it. I went in that morning, and they took great care of me. I came out of surgery just fine. That anesthesia is so difficult to wake up from. I made sure I thanked all of the nurses there for taking such great care of me. They took me into the room where my family was waiting for me, and I was excited to see them, although groggy. They wanted me to get up. I really wasn’t ready, but I knew how important it was to get up and get moving to make sure I could recover well, so I did. They discharged me, and we went home. Things were definitely not easy.

I went back to work on that Monday, and I felt very strongly that I really should have taken a week off. I just went through the motions of getting everything accomplished even though some days it was very difficult. All in all, my healing was going well. I was definitely a little hungry going through the beginning stages. As more food was incorporated things got a little easier. I made sure to walk for exercise everyday whether it was walking outdoors or doing a Walk Away the Pounds video by Leslie Sansone.

I was asked about joining an online support community, and at this point I was down about 50 pounds from the beginning of my journey. I joined the community. There were options of live workouts, prerecorded workouts and meal plans, etc. Once I got the clearance from my doctor to do other workouts, I joined in. I was doing very well. I was able to do movements I hadn’t been able to do in a long time. My flexibility and overall mobility was coming back, and I felt so strong. Then on September 16th, I had less than ten minutes left in a Tabata workout. I was doing burpees, and when I came down, my knee made the most gruesome sounds, and I knew it was bad. I had injured myself.

If you want to know how I am navigating on this journey to accepting me, please be sure to subscribe so that you will be notified of any future posts.

Thank you to those people who pushed me to tell my story because as they said, “People need to read it.  You don’t know who you might help.”

Until next time,

It’s Me

5 Signs You’re Not Eating Enough Protein | Nutrition | MyFitnessPal

Consuming enough protein is important for mood, hair growth and more.
— Read on

Protein is an important part of our diet, yet studies have shown that many of us, especially women, are not eating a sufficient amount of protein on a daily basis. When I evaluated my diet, it was over laden with carbohydrates. With the new things I have going on in my life, protein is the most important nutrient for me to ensure that I am taking in. Are you eating a sufficient amount of protein to sustain your body? Are you tracking your daily intake of macronutrients? Tracking is the one way that will let you know how much of each macronutrient you’re I taking on a daily basis.

28 Weeks-March 4, 2014-another hidden post

The progression of my pregnancy is great. As of today I am 28 weeks along.  I wish that I had been keeping a journal throughout.  I had great intentions of doing so, but they obviously did not pan out.  There were some very emotional times where things were a little difficult, but mostly things have been good. 
One thing I have noticed is that when someone is pregnant, people seem to think they can say whatever they want to you.  It’s infuriating.  I have allowed people to say all types of things to me and get away with it.  If I had responded to a lot of the ignorance, they would have said, “Oh, it’s just your hormones.”  This would have made me even more irritated.  I think that people don’t realize that perhaps the problem is that they’re being a complete and utter a**hole.  I don’t know why it must be this way, but it is. I think people and their insensitiv e comments have been the most irritating so far.  I try so hard not to be mean, although it may not seem like it.  It’s been a real struggle.  When you’re pregnant, there is so much going on in your mind, so much you want to talk about, but sometimes not enough people to share it with.  Instead of listening people tend to just want to give you unsolicited advice.  I will admit that there have been some days that I’ve felt as though I was on an emotional roller coaster and I literally could have just crawled into bed or into a corner and just bawled my eyes out just to relieve some of the tension. 
One of the great and scary things about pregnancy is watching your belly grow.  It’s like one day, you don’t even think you’re showing, but then the next day it seems as if out of nowhere, your stomach is so huge and you cannot function in a normal shirt.  I have gone to workout at home some days and put on a regular t-shirt, and it has been so tight.  It’s crazy because it doesn’t seem as though you’ve gained that much until you try on something that you were once able to wear comfortably and now are unable to fit at all.  I will admit that I have always been kind of scale obsessed to the point that I weigh myself at least once a day.  Since I’ve gotten so far along in my pregnancy, I cannot bear to weigh myself that often.  Now I might weigh myself once per week, if that.

It’s Me

Stop Being So Foolish!-hidden post from Dec. 25, 2013

A while back one of my coworkers approached my sister and me about healthy eating and living.  It all boiled down to the fact that he was selling a well known weightloss/nutritional shake.  He talked to us about it and mentioned a 90 day challenge.  He did the whole pitch about how inexpensive it was especially compared to eating out everyday.  First of all, he was obviously under the misguided impression that we both were eating out everyday.  We both cook and normally bring in something for lunch.  When we want to eat out, then we do. He also mentioned the obesity epidemic and wanting to help fight it.  I didn’t mind purchasing the shakes because I figured it would be fine for me to replace at least breakfast with one of them. I am a person who loves to cook and loves to eat a nice meal, not a shake, and so is my sister, but we both decided that we would try these meal replacement shakes anyway and at least do the 90 day challenge. I think during the first couple of weeks he gave me some free supplements, which I did not want because I hate taking pills.  I already have a few prescriptions, and that’s pretty much the only pills that I will take. He was checking up on me to see how things were going and said that if there was anything he could do to help to let him know.

In the meantime, he had added us on facebook and added us to his challenge group.  One of his other “business partners” also contacted me and asked me how things were going. I thought these people were genuinely interested in helping people, but then it was revealed to me that all they were/are in this for is to make money.  They put other people down who are not interested in selling the products.  They should realize that not everyone wants to be a salesperson.

Now I have a problem with people who have never had a weight problem or any type of health problems trying to tell me how easy it is to lose weight. First of all, a lot of people are unable to identify with the actual struggles that go along with it, so they really cannot empathize.  Secondly, some people have this preconceived notion that if you aren’t losing weight it’s because you’re just lazy.  They don’t think that food addiction is real. They don’t know about the limitations that excess weight puts on people’s bodies or that they may not be able to push their bodies any further because they have already abused them too much. To me if the only thing you have to do in the gym to meet your goal is to tone and not lose weight, then you really cannot identify with someone who needs to lose 100+ pounds.  They would have to work significantly different from you just trying to tone.

This guy put a status up on Facebook yesterday saying that if someone is in the gym and they look more out of shape than he does, then that person doesn’t need to say anything to him about fitness because he can’t hear it. This really irritated me because looks can be deceiving.  Just because someone looks out of shape, that does not mean that that person is out of shape.  It made me think about Drew Manning from  He is a personal trainer who wanted to be able to empathize with the people he would be working with, so he put his health in jeopardy by going from fit to fat to fit again.  He now knows some of the struggles and realizes that things are not as easy as he once thought they were.  I just imagined what if he would have been in the gym next to this guy we bought the products from and offered him some advice.  This guy might have been too close minded to receive it because he would have been looking at the outward appearance instead of listening to his words and figuring out if there was any truth to it.  There are a lot of us unfit people in the world who have a lot of knowledge to offer the world about weightloss.  Just because we have seemingly not been able to get it together, that doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t believe what we have to say.  It’s just a little irritating.

The next time you see someone who is seemingly unfit, please don’t be so quick to judge them because for all you know, this person could be on a fitness journey where they have already lost a significant amount of weight. 

Until next time,
It’s Me

It’s Been a Long Time-hidden post from Dec. 8, 2013

It’s been a long time since my last blog, a little over 4 months to be exact.  Things have really changed in my life.  One of them is pretty major.  I began to see a new doctor months ago.  This doctor looked at me as a human being, a woman who wanted to have a child, and he told me that he would give me what I wanted. He never once mentioned my weight or the fact that I have PCOS.  It was so refreshing.  My previous doctors acted as though I didn’t know that I was morbidly obese and need to lose weight.  That can’t be the only reason that I have been having problems conceiving.  I see women who are significantly heavier than I am who have children with no issues.  When you don’t look like people, sometimes they seem to dismiss you as insignificant. 

My new doctor had a plan of action for what he wanted us to do. He did a somewhat painful test to check for blockage in my fallopian tubes.  There was no blockage, but he said that even if there was some mild blockage, the test would have gotten rid of it, and that would significantly increase my chances of conception.  He put me on birth control for 2 or 3 months.  After that, I started clomid. I believe it was just 50mg. I took a pregnancy test in the wee hours of the morning of September 22nd. There were two lines meaning it was positive!!! I began to cry because I had taken so many pregnancy tests before that were negative. No matter what, there would only be that one line staring back at me. This was such a big shock.  I will say that my new doctor gave me hope on the first day that I met with him.  It wasn’t a question of if I got pregnant, but when. I wanted to tell the whole world as soon as I found out, but I only told my immediate family and a few close friends.  A few weeks ago, I finally told people on Facebook and at my job.  Now I am finally getting around to talking about it on here. As of today I am 15 weeks.  I will be 16 weeks on Tuesday. I have my next appointment on Friday. I hope that I get an ultrasound done on that day.  My first appointment, all they gave me was one ultrasound picture.  On my second appointment there was no ultrasound, but I got to hear my baby’s heartbeat with the doppler. I think I will get the 2D ultrasound done at 18 weeks just so that I will have something.

If you have PCOS and think that you cannot conceive, maybe it’s the treatment that you are receiving.  I have been through a few doctors and my current doctor was sent to me by God.  Don’t give up hope.

Until next time,
It’s Me